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It's summertime! There is no school, a lot of flexibility with schedules, and many fun camps and activities. So, we all expect our children to be thrilled and content all day, right? Maybe or maybe not… Some parents find that since the summer break has started, their children suddenly have become triggered by the smallest thing at the end of the day. Why do you think they throw these tantrums or meltdowns before dinner and/or bedtime? Many of us with kiddos, especially elementary school-aged kids, can relate to these questions. As a registered clinical counsellor and caregiver, I found that reflecting on our children’s schedules and how much structure (or lack thereof) they have over the summer can be helpful. Here are some questions to ask yourself: Has my child’s sleep routine changed? o Are they going to bed later? Waking up earlier? Oversleeping? o Is it too hot and bright in their room, which could be causing poorer sleep quality? Is my child eating at regular mealtimes? Are the meals usually healthy? Are there too many sweets or processed food in the mix? Is my child attending the same summer camp all summer, or is their schedule changing every week, like bike camp one week and swim lessons the next (Different times, people, places etc.)? Do we FEEL busy? Are we trying to take advantage of the summer days and nights, but it’s starting to feel like we are constantly GO GO GO and never home? If you answered “YES” to some (or all) of these questions, here are some simple and research-proven strategies that help reduce evening meltdowns: Sleep impacts emotions Find out how much sleep your child should get a night for their age – think about what time they need to wake in the morning and count back from that. For example, if my child needs 10 hours of sleep and they need to be up at 7 am, then I have to get my child to bed before 9. According to research, typically, elementary-aged children need 9-11 hours of sleep, while teens need 8-10 hours of sleep at night. Remember: Kids need an hour of screen-free time before bed to help their brains to slow down and transition to sleep. Slowdown in the evening Yes – our kids can become overtired and overstimulated throughout the day and sometimes just before bedtime. This can lead to kids having difficulty managing big feelings and falling asleep! What to do? Find opportunities in the day for your child to slow down. Maybe that’s as simple as having an hour of quiet time before bed, or if they get home from summer camp and you can see they are starting to slide, don’t send them out for an additional evening bike ride or play at the park. Healthy, consistent, and well-balanced meals are essential no matter what With less structure in the summer, you may find it challenging to have meals at set times. A rule of thumb is to ensure your child has three meals daily and healthy snacks in between. Try to limit their sugar intake to special occasions or the weekends. Also, make sure they drink water (not sugary drinks) throughout the day. Constant changes in routine can be stressful and overstimulating Find a way to build more predictability and routine into the child’s day, starting with a consistent wake-up and bedtime, a simple morning or evening ritual you do as a family. For example, we have a regular bedtime routine in our house, no matter where we are. It involves PJs, brushing teeth, reading two books in bed, singing two songs, and then lights off. If you have a child who struggles with adjustments/transitions, especially when going to new places, pick a community agency that offers multiple camps in the same location. For example, my daughter’s before, and after-school care program has a summer camp for July. “BUT KELLY, WHAT DO WE DO IF THEY ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF A MELTDOWN? HOW CAN WE HELP?” Stay calm! To do this in a stressful moment, practice your self-calming skills regularly, so you can keep it cool when needed. For example, this could be having 5 to 15 minutes a day to practice mindfulness, meditation and/or relaxation skills. There are lots of guided exercises through apps that are listed on our resources page! Find your own outlet for stress. Remember, it’s not selfish to take time for yourself. Self-care allows us to be more regulated individuals, which ultimately leads to more calm & effective parenting. That could be as simple as listening to music in your car or watching a YouTube video that makes you laugh for 5 minutes before you pick up your child at the end of the day. Remember, for kids, it’s typically “monkey see, monkey do” for learning. So, if you lose it, it won’t help! If you need extra support (many of us parents do!), connect with a therapist that works with adults and/or caregivers of children. Our clinic has some suggestions. Final Tips Practice emotional regulation strategies regularly with your child when they are NOT in distress. This could be as simple as in bed at night practicing a couple of belly breaths together, or when in the car on the way to camp, you practice coming up with positive affirmations or chants they can say to themselves when overwhelmed. If the meltdowns seem to be happening more frequently and are beginning to impact your child and family’s daily functioning, this would be an excellent time to consult a mental health practitioner who works with children and families for additional guidance and support. Check out the resources listed below or visit our website’s resource page for additional parenting resources. I personally love the resources from Dr. Becky Kennedy's “Good Inside.” If you follow her on social media, she offers great role plays on responding during a meltdown. We still have one more month of summer break. I hope you find these tips helpful and have an unremarkable time before school starts! Have a fantastic summer! Kelly Archer, M.A., RCC For more information about Kelly, check out her page on our website. All the best from Kelly Archer & the Beacon team! NOTE about the Author: Kelly Archer has a MA in Counselling Psychology and over a decade of experience working with children, youth, and families within the mental health field. She is also a mother of two kiddos. INFORMATION & RESOURCES: SLEEP https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/canadian-children-getting-enough-sleep-infographic.html NUTRITION https://food-guide.canada.ca/en/healthy-eating-resources/ https://happyhealthyeaters.com/ Apps for guided mindfulness & Relaxation practice o FOR KIDS (Apps): - Smiling Mind - Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame - Mindful Powers - Children’s sleep meditations o FOR ADULTS (Apps) - Headspace - Calm - Mindshift - Parenting resources: o Information on co-regulation: - https://fpg.unc.edu/sites/fpg.unc.edu/files/resources/reports-and-policy-briefs/Co-- RegulationFromBirthThroughYoungAdulthood.pdf o PODCASTS: - Ask Lisa (The psychology of parenting with Dr. Lisa Damour) - The Anxiety DR - DEAR ANXIETY - TILT PARENTING: Raising Differently Wired Kids - By Debbie Reber - Good Inside with Dr. Becky - The Child Psych Podcast

With the start of the school year fast approaching comes a time for reflection about learning in all its facets. Amidst the back-to-school prep and lesson planning lies the shared parent-educator goal of promoting a smooth return to the classroom. But what is learning anyway? In their seminal article, Alexander, Schallert, & Reynolds (2009) characterize learning as falling along four dimensions: what, where, who, and when. This perspective may be linked to best practices in education to promote more meaningful home-school-community collaboration. This definition of learning challenges the historical over-emphasis on the what of learning. Our classrooms are becoming increasingly dynamic, so student needs can be best matched to the instructional methods implemented. Inquiry-based learning offers a bi-directional relationship between learners and the learning process. Students take agency over their learning by formulating questions, investigating topics, and drawing conclusions. The interactive nature of inquiry encourages a two-way flow of information between students and their learning environment, promoting deeper understanding and skill development. The where of learning highlights the importance of the environmental and ecological contexts in which learning occurs. In the context of BC’s revised curriculum, place-based learning may be integrated with Big Ideas to foster holistic and authentic educational experiences. Students may engage with important overarching concepts in the curriculum while drawing connections between their learning and the unique characteristics of their local environment, community, and culture. This approach encourages students to apply their knowledge in real-world contexts, promoting a deeper understanding of both subject matter and their surroundings. The who of learning reflects the nature of the learner. Person-centred planning is an approach that tailors goals and plans to an individual's unique preferences, needs, and aspirations. It focuses on involving the person in defining their own objectives, promoting empowerment and a sense of ownership in the goal-setting process. This approach is essential to successful and affirming individualized education planning for our neurodivergent learners. The when of learning requires careful consideration of the optimal times of day and required levels of maturation to benefit from instructional experiences. By aligning instruction with an individual's neurodevelopmental needs, prior knowledge, and cultural and linguistic diversity, we can promote more inclusive practices for all learners. Finding consilience – unity of knowledge – across all four dimensions of learning may be key to connecting research on learning to the educational practices and policies of the future. Happy September Start-Up! Harkiran Thandi, M.Ed., Assessment Clinician ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Harkiran has extensive experience providing therapeutic intervention to children and adolescents of diverse abilities in school, community, and home environments as a behaviour interventionist, applied behavioural analysis support worker, and program manager. Harkiran currently works as a Certified School Psychologist in a public School District. For more information, please check her profile here Reference: ALEXANDER, P. A., SCHALLERT, D. L., & REYNOLDS, R. E. (2009). What is learning anyway? A topographical perspective considered. Educational Psychologist, 44(3), 176–192. doi:10.1080/00461520903029006

Bedtime seems to be one of the most challenging times of a family's daily routine, and there are many reasons for it. When it is time to sleep, it is also time to stop distractions and slow down the mind and body. The goal is to get to a relaxed state that allows us to rest and eventually fall asleep. This process involves turning off the lights and letting our minds wander. However, this is often when unsolved problems or worries show up. And for kids, this is when bedtime fears take the central stage. At bedtime, you may notice your child's muscles tensing up, their heart rate increasing, or they saying that their stomach hurts. These body reactions are all real. However, they are a stress response to their perception of a threat, not a real threat. As parents, we try different strategies to help our kids fall asleep in any possible (and sometimes unintentionally unhelpful) way. In this blog, I will explain the most common fears experienced by kids and what to do when children worry at nighttime. Fear of the dark and other creepy things One of the main reasons kids worry at bedtime is due to their fear of the dark. In the dark, many creepy or scary things can show up. And even if they are imaginary, these things seem very real to them, especially as their bodies react in response to these scary thoughts. The most common things kids tell me they are afraid of are: (a) monsters, aliens, ghosts or other scary creatures hiding in the closet, behind the curtains, or under the bed (b) shadows or weird noises in the house (c) robbers breaking in, kidnapping them or hurting them or their families (d) spiders Fear of having nightmares Research shows that at least 75% of children have bad dreams. Nightmares usually start around three years, peaking between ages 6 and 10 and decreasing afterward. Because nightmares seem real, they can trigger anxiety, fear, or other big emotions in children that are remembered when they wake up. Thus, children may start fearing falling asleep and having bad dreams. As a result, they may struggle with the bedtime routine and need a "safe person" (usually a parent) to be near them and prevent these nightmares from happening. Fear of losing consciousness Some kids also tell me that they worry about losing consciousness while asleep. They may also fear being the last person to fall asleep in their home or never waking up. Although these are not the most common nighttime worries, they tend to be quite scary for kids. What do parents typically do when kids are anxious and struggling to sleep? Studies have shown that when children are anxious about sleep because of such fears, parents tend to change their behaviours at bedtime to help their children avoid or alleviate sleep-related anxiety. They may stay in the room until the child is fast asleep, spend a long time reassuring the child that they are safe, sleep in their child's bed or bedroom through the night, or even let their child sleep in their own room. With the best intentions and hope for a restful night, parents do whatever it takes to get their children a good night of sleep. Parents' change in behaviour at bedtime has a name! The changes in parents' behaviour to decrease their child's anxiety is a widely studied phenomenon called family accommodation. In fact, more than 95% of parents of anxious children report that they "accommodate" their child's anxiety. By accommodating, I mean changing their behaviour or routines to make the child feel less anxious in the moment. Unfortunately, family accommodation has been shown to decrease stress and alleviate anxiety only temporarily. And instead, it has the opposite effect of maintaining the child's anxiety in the long run. This is because family accommodation facilitates ongoing avoidance and reduces the child's independent coping. For instance, with sleep, family accommodation can help the child fall asleep faster when the parent is around, but it likely reinforces the belief that the child is unable to sleep alone unless the parent is present, which then becomes a habit that is hard to break. Thus, it is important for children who experience anxiety at bedtime to learn how to sleep on their own. How can I help my child to sleep on their own? The answer is short, but the process can be long, energy- and patience-consuming. Beyond having a consistent bedtime routine, you can reduce family accommodation by gradually changing your behaviour to increase your child's independence at nighttime! Keep in mind that consistency is key here. So, if you decide it's time to change your behaviour, make sure you stick to it! Reduce reassurance seeking. If you need to reassure your child that they are safe at nighttime, the goal is to provide fewer reassurance statements per night. For example, if you need to spend 10 minutes explaining that the child is safe, reduce the time to 5. Or if you need to answer ten questions, answer five and no more. Exit the room. If you need to stay near your child until they fall asleep, work towards physically moving away from them. For example, if you have to sit in your child's bed until they fall asleep, try moving to a chair near the bed for several days until your child gets used to it. Then, move closer to the door and eventually hang out outside in the corridor until they are fast asleep. You can also have short check-ins rather than staying in their room. Start checking in on them every 5 minutes and gradually increase the time between check-in as your child learns to tolerate the discomfort of being in the room alone. For more information on how to do this, see this link provided by Anxiety Canada. What should I say when my child is scared at bedtime? As you start gradually reducing family accommodation, there is a quick phrase to tell children based on an evidence-based program called SPACE for parents of anxious children that works very well for many families. This statement provides validation and confidence that the child can cope with the discomfort of sleeping alone. Whenever your child tells you they are scared of staying in the room alone as you begin reducing family accommodation, say the following to them once: "I know this is hard for you (validation), and I know you can do it! (confidence)." Then continue to stay in your new spot in the room away from your child or check in on them after the pre-determined time. You can also praise them once for being brave. What if this doesn't work? Changing a habit or bedtime routine that has been reinforced over the years can take time and persistence. If you get stuck, I strongly suggest you consult with an experienced therapist who uses Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to help children manage anxiety. For more information on how to find the right professional for your child, please see my previous blog. To sum up Sleep is essential not only for your child but also for you to function well. Fears of the dark, imaginary creatures or nightmares are common among kids, yet stressful and challenging for many families. To support your child to cope with their fears and become independent at nighttime, parents must provide them with the opportunities to practice being brave gradually! In addition, it is crucial to celebrate every step towards their independence at bedtime. Make sure you describe your child's efforts to face their fears and success in gradually staying alone in their room. NOTE about the author: Dr. Juliana is a registered psychologist who has clinical and research experience treating kids with anxiety, OCD and other related conditions. She has published an academic paper on the role of parenting in childhood anxiety and was the lead developer of two free school-based anxiety curriculums delivered by many K-Grade 7 teachers across BC and Saskatchewan.

Welcome to the Beacon Psychology Blog! A blog that provides effective tips and hands-on strategies for parents, children, youth, and young adults to improve their daily well-being and move towards what matters to them. Dear reader, This is the first time that our clinic writes a blog with the goal of providing you with up-to-date and research-informed resources and especially practical strategies to make your life (and/or your child's life) less stressful, more fulfilling, fun, and enjoyable. As the director of the clinic, I (Juliana Negreiros) have had the incredible opportunity to connect and collaborate with many young people, their families, schools, and community partners over my career. My passion for making research-based knowledge about mental health accessible to all inspired me to work beyond the walls of my office. From publishing academic papers and giving trainings to being a podcast guest speaker and recently co-authoring a self-help book for teens, one of my life goals is to help young people take action towards what is most important to them. What to expect? Our team members will post information weekly about interesting mental health facts, strategies, and suggestions that many people, including the clinicians themselves, have found helpful. If you have ideas for future blogs, please let us know. What to not expect? This blog will raise awareness about different mental health conditions and life struggles. It will also give you ideas about what to do in certain challenging situations and where to seek further support if needed. However, it will not provide you with individual advice or serve as a type of therapy or consultation service. Plan moving forward By starting this blog, I hope you too find some helpful and easy-to-implement tips to incorporate into your daily routine that will help create positive new memories about such an important time in your life. If you want to find out more information about our clinic's mission, our team members, or key resources, please see https://www.beaconpsychology.ca/ Next week, you will learn about the four questions to ask when you are choosing a therapist who is the right fit for your child.