Search Results

Using the right strategies to manage your child’s behaviour can make everyday routines much smoother and more enjoyable for everyone. Parent Management Training (PMT) is a proven, research-backed approach that helps parents encourage positive behaviours in kids aged 3 to 12. Whether you’re looking to make mornings smoother or calm down bedtime routines, the eight tips below (mainly based on PMT) offer practical strategies to guide your child’s behaviour while also supporting their emotional and social growth. Tip 1. Label and Praise Appropriate Behaviour Instead of focusing on what you don’t  want your child to do, try highlighting and praising the behaviours you do  want to see. Positive reinforcement is a key strategy in PMT because it encourages children to repeat desirable actions. The trick is to use specific, labelled praise. For example, instead of saying “Good job” when your child is not yelling, say, “I really like the way you’re using a calm voice.” The more often you name and praise specific behaviours, the more likely your child will repeat them. Try to limit phrases like “Don’t…”, “No…”, or “Stop…” as these can lead to frustration. Focus instead on using positive instructions and reinforcing your child's strengths. Tip 2. Give Brief and Direct Instructions Keep your directions short and to the point. Use “effective commands” that are simple and clear, avoiding long explanations, as these can cause confusion and make it harder for your child to stay focused. For example, say exactly what you want them to do in a calm, firm tone, and make eye contact when speaking. Examples include: “Put your shoes on, please” instead of "Can you please put your shoes on?" “Look at me when I’m speaking” instead of "Let's look at me when I am speaking." After giving instructions, pause to ensure your child processes what you said before adding more information. This approach helps them know exactly what’s expected without feeling overwhelmed. Tip 3. Set Clear Expectations Children respond well to clear and consistent expectations. Establish simple rules that are stated in a positive way, such as “Treat others with kindness and use polite language” instead of  “Don’t be rude to others” or “Finish your chores before screen time.” Stick to routines as much as possible to provide structure and predictability, which reduce anxiety and misbehaviour. If changes are necessary, give your child a heads-up with a quick “Just so you know, tomorrow we’ll be going to the dentist after school.” Tip 4. Try Not to Yell Yelling often escalates behaviours and makes it harder to manage the situation. If your child is yelling or upset, respond with a calm and firm voice. Model the calm behaviour you want to see. Take a deep breath, lower your tone, and state your expectations clearly. This approach helps reduce power struggles and teaches emotional regulation. Tip 5. Be Consistent and Follow Through on What You Say Being consistent is one of the most important strategies for effective parenting. In PMT, consistency is all about following through on what you say—whether it’s a promised reward for good behaviour — like earning extra screen time for finishing homework— or a consequence for not following the rules — like losing play time if chores aren’t done. When children know you mean what you say, it builds trust and helps them understand boundaries. However, be aware to avoid the "Big Consequence" trap. It’s easy to promise big consequences in the heat of the moment when we’re feeling overwhelmed or frustrated. Statements like, “You’re grounded for a month!” might slip out, but they’re often unrealistic and hard to enforce. When we don’t stick to what we say, it sends mixed messages and can undermine our authority. So, what can you do? If you’re feeling stressed and tempted to make a big statement, try taking a quick break before responding. Use that moment to ensure you’re thinking with your “rational brain” instead of your “emotional brain.” This way, you’ll choose a consequence that’s both reasonable and enforceable. Tip 6. Share Parenting Responsibilities Using the “Tag Team” Approach When one parent feels overwhelmed or needs a break, have a signal for the other parent to step in (e.g., a subtle wave, a code word, or a wiggling pinky finger). This “tag team” approach helps prevent burnout and ensures consistent responses. Supporting each other in this way also models positive teamwork and problem-solving skills for your child. Tip 7. Teach the “I” Message Strategy Help your child express themselves and solve problems using “I” statements:- I feel… (emotion)- When… (describe the problem)- I would like… (desired solution). For example: “ I feel upset when my toys are taken without asking. I would like it if you ask first.” This approach encourages children to constructively express their emotions and needs, reducing the likelihood of acting out. Tip 8. Focus on What You Can Control PMT highlights an important concept: while you can’t control your child's behaviour, you can  control how you respond to it. Instead of asking yourself, “How do I make my child stop doing this?” try reframing it to, “What can I do differently to manage this situation?” This shift in perspective helps you approach challenging behaviours calmly and more effectively. Use Forced Choices to Encourage Cooperation One effective strategy when your child is resisting a request is to offer a “forced choice,” which provides them with a sense of control while still keeping you in charge. For example, if your child is refusing to get dressed, try saying, “You can choose to wear your blue shirt or your red shirt today. Which one would you like?” This technique helps avoid power struggles, reduces defiance, and increases the chance that your child will cooperate because they feel empowered to make a choice. Respond, Don’t React If your child still doesn’t follow through with a request, avoid repeating yourself or raising your voice. Instead, calmly give them one reminder, then step back. If they continue to resist, walk away and apply a fair consequence that was previously discussed, such as losing a privilege or postponing a preferred activity. Staying calm and consistent is key to showing your child that actions have predictable outcomes. All Feelings Are Allowed, But Not All Reactions Let your child know that it’s okay to feel any emotion—they can feel sad, angry, or frustrated—but it’s not okay to express those feelings in inappropriate ways, like yelling, arguing, or hitting. By talking about how all  feelings are okay, but some reactions aren’t, you’re teaching your child that they can take control of how they respond rather than how they feel. To help them handle overwhelming emotions, offer simple strategies like taking a break, using words to say what’s bothering them, or asking for help. This teaches them healthy ways to cope with their feelings. Communicate Consequences in Advance Before challenges arise, be clear about what will happen if your child crosses the boundaries you’ve set. For example, you can say, “If you choose to yell or argue, you’ll need to take a break in your room.” When children know what to expect, it reduces arguments and makes them feel more in control of their choices. Final Thoughts Change takes time, so celebrate small successes and be patient with yourself and your child. Effective behaviour management is about building a positive and respectful relationship while teaching healthy boundaries. You’re not alone on this journey—keep up the great work! If you want to learn more about resources or free coaching on this technique, check out: ​ ​ ​ Confident Parents: Thriving Kids – Behaviour : The Canadian Mental Health Association in BC offers a free coach-based program to help parents support their children aged 3-12 with behavioural difficulties. ​​ Everyday Parenting: The ABCs of Child Rearing  (by Dr. Alan Kazdin): This free course developed by a leader in the field provides a toolkit of behaviour-change techniques that will make your typical day in the home easier as you develop the behaviours you would like to see in your child.  ​ Collaborative Problem-Solving Approach  (by Dr. Ross Greene): Rather than focusing on kids' concerning behaviours (and modifying them), CPS helps kids and caregivers solve the problems causing those behaviours. Beacon Psychology Parenting Resources : This selection of resources is designed to support parents in navigating various challenges and fostering healthy family relationships. About the author:  Dr. Juliana Negreiros   is a registered psychologist and the founder of Beacon Psychology Clinic. For more than a decade, she has worked closely with parents to help them navigate challenges and create a supportive environment that fosters healthy development and emotional well-being for their children.

Creating good habits can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re juggling school, friends, hobbies, work or other responsibilities. Whether it’s improving your study habits, staying organized, or managing everyday tasks, forming habits that stick doesn’t have to seem impossible! Have you heard about James Clear's popular book  Atomic Habits ? This book is full of simple, easy-to-implement tips to help you build habits that actually fit into your busy life. If you don’t have the time or energy to read the whole book, No worries—here’s a quick summary of the key points so you can get started right away! 1. Make Your Habits Obvious One of the best ways to build good habits is by making them super clear and easy to spot. Know Your Good and Not-So-Good Habits : Start by writing down a list of what you currently do each day, from when you wake up to when you go to bed. Make sure you include both the good and bad habits. Knowing your habits helps you figure out what’s working and what needs to change. Create Clear Plans For Good Habits : Be specific, indicating what, where, when, and for how long you will perform the activity. Instead of saying, "I’ll study more," make a clear plan, such as, “I will study (behaviour) for 20 minutes (duration) after dinner (time) at my desk (location).” Instead of saying, “I’ll work out more,” make it specific: “I will go for a 15-minute walk (behaviour) every day after school (time) in the park (location).” Instead of saying, “I’ll eat healthier,” make a clear plan: “I will eat a piece of fruit (behaviour) with breakfast (time) every morning in the kitchen (location) .” Instead of saying, “I’ll sleep earlier,” say: “I will turn off all screens (behaviour) 30 minutes before bed (duration) every night at 10 p.m. (time) and read a book (location: bedroom).” Stack Habits Together : Link a new habit with something you already do (current habit). For example: "After brushing my teeth at night (current habit), I’ll pack my school bag for the next day (new habit).” "After I finish dinner (current habit), I’ll wash the dishes immediately (new habit)." "Once I get home from school (current habit), I’ll immediately do my math homework for 20 minutes (new habit)." "After I finish my workout (current habit), I’ll spend 5 minutes stretching to cool down (new habit)." 2. Make It Attractive If a habit seems fun or rewarding, you’re more likely to stick with it. Pair Fun with Tasks : Combine something you enjoy (reward) with a habit you want to build (habit). For example: “After I finish my homework (habit), I can watch an episode of my favourite show (reward).” "After I finish reading for 20 minutes (habit), I can play video games for 30 minutes (reward)." "Once I clean my room (habit), I’ll go hang out with my friends or go out for a treat (reward)." "After I practice my guitar for 15 minutes (habit), I’ll spend some time scrolling through social media (reward)." Join a Supportive Group : Hang out with friends who have good habits, like a study group or a sports team. When you’re around people doing the same positive things, it’s easier to stay motivated. For example: If your friends are dedicated to studying after school, you’ll be more likely to study, too. If they play sports regularly, it’ll motivate you to stay active as well. 3. Make It EasyBuilding better habits The easier it is to start a habit, the more likely you’ll follow through. Remove Obstacles : Set yourself up for success by preparing your space. For example: Have all your study materials ready at your desk so it’s easy to start homework. If you want to work out in the morning, set out your workout clothes, shoes, and water bottle the night before so you’re ready to go as soon as you wake up. If you want to eat healthier snacks, remove junk food from your room and keep a bowl of fruit or healthy snacks within easy reach. If you want to practice an instrument, make sure your guitar or piano is easily accessible and not tucked away so you can start practicing without the hassle of setting up. Start Small : Don’t try to do everything at once. Start with something easy like “I’ll read for 5 minutes a day.”  Once you’ve built that habit, you can gradually increase the time. Other examples include: “I’ll do 5 minutes of stretching or light exercise each day.” Once it becomes part of your routine, you can increase the duration or intensity. “I’ll study one subject for 10 minutes after school.” As you get used to it, extend the study time or add more subjects to review. “I’ll drink one extra glass of water each day.” Once this becomes easy, you can gradually add more healthy habits, like including a fruit or vegetable with each meal. 4. Make It Satisfying Getting some kind of reward or seeing progress can help keep you going. Reward Yourself : Give yourself small rewards when you stick to a habit. Whether it’s a snack, free time, or a break with friends, rewarding yourself helps reinforce the habit. Track Your Progress : Use a habit tracker or an app to see how far you’ve come. Watching your progress grow can keep you motivated! Final Thoughts Building good habits takes time and patience, but it’s totally possible. Start small, stay consistent, and don’t be too hard on yourself. Even small changes can add up to something big over time. Stick with it, and soon, those habits will become part of your routine!   Dr. Juliana Negreiros   is a registered psychologist and the founder of Beacon Psychology Clinic. Throughout her career, she has worked towards empowering young people by helping them build meaningful and fulfilling lives.

We know that supporting children in developing good habits can sometimes feel overwhelming. Whether it's helping your child keep up with homework, pitch in with chores, or build healthy routines, it can be tough to create habits that stick. However, there is good news! It’s possible to guide your child toward better habits using simple strategies! Based on the principles from Atomic Habits  by James Clear, we’ve compiled some easy-to-follow tips to help your child succeed. 1. Make It Obvious The first step in helping your child build good habits is making those habits easy to see and understand. Notice Their Habits:  Start by writing down what your child does regularly, both the good and not-so-good habits. This awareness is the first step to making changes. You might think about things like: Does my child grab their phone or play video games right after school? How do they start their morning – by brushing their teeth or eating breakfast? Do they tidy up their room or leave things out? Do they get started on their homework right away, or do they tend to put it off? Create Specific Plans : Help your child make clear, simple plans for their new habits by identifying what  they’ll do (the behaviour), when  they’ll do it (time), how long  they’ll do it (duration), and where  they’ll do it (location). Here are some examples: “I will pack my backpack (behaviour) before bed (time) in my room (location).” “I will do my homework (behaviour) right after dinner (time) at the kitchen table (location).” “I will read (behaviour) for 10 minutes (duration) after breakfast (time) on the couch (location).” “I will set the table (behaviour) when mom starts cooking (time) in the dining room (location).” “I will walk the dog (behaviour) at 4 PM (time) around the block (location).” Stack Habits Together : Help your child build new habits by connecting them to something they already do (a current habit). Here are some examples: “After brushing my teeth (current habit), I will put my clothes away (new habit).” “After putting on my shoes (current habit), I will grab my backpack (new habit).” “After turning off the TV (current habit), I will tidy up the living room (new habit).” “After closing my homework book (current habit), I will prepare my snack for tomorrow (new habit).” “After coming home from school (current habit), I will read a chapter in my book (new habit).” 2. Make It Attractive If a habit feels enjoyable, your child is more likely to keep doing it. Here’s how you can make habits more appealing: Pair Fun with Necessary Tasks:  Connect a fun activity with a new habit. For example: “After I clean my room (new habit), I can watch my favourite show (fun activity).” “After I finish my homework (new habit), I can play video games (fun activity).” “After I do 10 minutes of reading (new habit), I can play outside (fun activity).” “After I do my chores (new habit), I can call my friends (fun activity).” “After I practice the piano (new habit), I can play with my pet (fun activity).” Join a Supportive Group:  Encourage your child to be around friends with similar good habits. For example: Join a study group with friends who are motivated to do homework. Sign up for a team sport where regular practice is a habit. Start a reading club with friends where they read together weekly. Spend time with friends who are working on similar school projects. Have a “clean-up challenge” with friends to tidy up their rooms at the same time. 3. Make It Easy The simpler a habit is to start, the more likely your child will stick with it. Reduce Barriers : Make it easy for your child to do the right thing. For example: Set up a study area that has everything they need for homework. Prepare gym clothes the night before so they’re ready to go in the morning. Have a packed lunch ready in the fridge so it’s easy to grab for school. Keep a book next to their bed to encourage nighttime reading. Put a calendar in their room to remind them of upcoming tasks. Start Small :  Begin with small, easy tasks before adding more time or responsibility. For example: Start with 5 minutes of reading at bedtime each day. Review one page of homework before moving on to assignments. Practice 2 minutes of meditation before sleeping. Organize one drawer in their bedroom each day. Write one sentence in their journal each night. Take a short walk after dinner daily. 4. Make It Satisfying Children respond well to rewards and praise, which helps motivate them to keep going. Reward Effort : Praise your child or give them small rewards when they complete a habit. Positive reinforcement can make a big difference! For example: Give them praise or high-fives when they finish their chores. Offer a treat or special activity after a week of completed homework. Allow extra screen or reading time when they finish a task early. Let them choose the family movie night after helping around the house. Create a reward jar where they earn tokens for each habit completed. Track Progress : Use a sticker chart or habit tracker to show your child how far they’ve come. For example: Make a star chart to track completed daily tasks. Use a calendar to mark off the days they practice a skill, like reading. Create a habit tracker with colourful stickers for each goal. Track their progress with checkmarks for every day they clean their room. Use a whiteboard to write down their weekly accomplishments and goals. Final Thoughts Building lasting habits takes time, but with these easy strategies, you can help your child create positive routines that will benefit them—and your family—in the long run. Remember, consistency is key! Even small changes, done regularly, can make a big difference over time. About the author: Dr. Juliana Negreiros  is a registered psychologist and the founder of Beacon Psychology Clinic. She has dedicated most of her career to supporting young people's learning and mental health, helping them thrive both in and out of school.

Dr. Juliana Negreiros ( pronouns: she/her/hers) Dr. Juliana is the clinic director and a Registered Psychologist passionate about mental health. She wears different hats, working as a clinician, researcher , supervisor , trainer , consultant , and public speaker . Her clinical approach is characterized by compassion, understanding, and collaboration grounded in research and based on individual and family Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr. Juliana creates a safe and non-judgmental space where clients can openly express themselves and work toward meaningful change. She has extensive research and clinical experience conducting psycho-educational assessments , working with schools, and developing Individual Education Plans and school-based interventions. For many years, Dr. Juliana conducted different studies at the B.C. Children's Hospital, which involved assessing neurocognitive and academic functioning in pediatric OCD. Early in her career, she served as a school psychologist in a public school district, gaining firsthand insight into educational systems. Today, she continues to support educators and school professionals through consultation and supervision in both public and private settings. Dr. Juliana also worked for many years at Child and Youth Mental Health and collaborated with various public and private organizations. Her commitment to helping young people extends beyond her clinic walls. In collaboration with Anxiety Canada , she was a lead developer of online resources and province-wide classroom lessons tailored to equip students to manage anxiety called EASE ( Everyday Anxiety Strategies for Educators) and MAPE (MAP for Educators) . In addition, Dr. Juliana is an energetic and engaging speaker who has contributed to podcasts and speaking engagements nationally and internationally. She also has many academic publications and, notably, co-authored a book aimed at helping teenagers navigate uncertainty, published by New Harbinger. EDUCATION Dr. Juliana holds a Master's and Ph.D. in School Psychology from the University of British Columbia. Her dissertation on neurocognition in pediatric OCD was recognized with multiple awards, including a Certificate of Excellence from the Canadian Psychological Association . For almost a decade, Dr. Juliana was part of the B.C. Children's Hospital Provincial OCD Program (POP) . She completed a 3-year Postdoctoral Fellowship at POP, engaging in extensive research focused on neurocognitive and academic functioning in OCD as well as treatment outcomes. During her fellowship, Dr. Juliana also provided valuable school-based support to families, enhancing our understanding of how students with OCD function at school and identifying strategies to aid their school functioning. For further details on her research contributions, please refer to the Research section. CERTIFICATION Dr. Juliana is registered with the College of Health and Care Professionals of BC (CHCPBC) (#2245) and has undergone specialized training in CBT for OCD and related disorders at the Behavior Therapy Training Institute (BTTI), sponsored by the International OCD Foundation. Her expertise is further enriched by her training in ACT and Indigenous Cultural Safety in Mental Health. She is a member of the following psychological associations: International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) Association for Contextual and Behavioral Science (ACBS) British Columbia Psychological Association (BCPA) INTERESTS AND ACTIVITIES Dr. Juliana truly enjoys nature, hiking, canoeing, biking, dancing, and travelling. Above all, she values spending quality time with her family. LANGUAGES Dr. Juliana speaks English and Portuguese fluently. SERVICES Dr. Juliana provides in-person and online sessions from Monday to Thursday (9 a.m. - 5 p.m.).

Psycho-Educational Assessment Resources Understanding a Psycho-Educational Assessment Beacon Psychology Handout for parents on how to prepare their child for the assessment Understanding a psycho-educational assessment report: Information on the specific areas assessed through an evaluation Free Webinars & Podcasts Dr. Liz Angoff helps parents and children understand learning disabilities, ADHD and much more Solving the puzzle : Creating a p l an for success through psychological and educational assessment What is Dyslexia, and what can we do about it? Explaining Dyslexia Making Sense of Sensory Issues: How to manage heightened senses at home and in the classroom Transitioning from high school to college Associations Learning Disabilities Association of BC : This association provides information and resources to ensure the full participation of children, youth, and adults with learning disabilities (LD) in today's society. National Association of School Psychologists : This nationally recognized organization provides resources to families and educators on diverse topics related to psycho-educational assessment. Gifted Children's Association of BC : This association aims to extend support in navigating the unique developmental journey of gifted learners through advocacy, education and collaboration. Ministry of Education BC Ministry of Education of BC Checklist for school designations: This resource provides specific information about the criteria for schools to designate students as needing additional support. Ministry of Education of BC Policy Manual for school designations: This resource conveys policies, procedures, and guidelines that support delivering special education services in British Columbia's public schools.

We provide a range of psychological services grounded in research to help children, youth & young adults thrive! Our Team is passionate about supporting young people's mental health and learning in clinical, school, and community, settings. Book Here Juliana Negreiros, Ph.D. Registered Psychologist Kevin Noble, Ph.D. Registered Psychologist Kelly Archer, M.A. Registered Clinical Counsellor Alexandra Vergara, B.A. Clinical Assistant Harkiran Thandi, M.Ed., Licensed School Psychologist Book written by Drs. Juliana & Martinez! Podcast on School Accommodations for Students with Anxiety or OCD